Character I'm Ranting About: Lt. Johnny Martel of the Los Angeles Police Department
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It was the morning of November 8, 2023. Seinfeld happened to be on the TV when I came in, and it happened to be the episode where Cosmo Kramer is accused of being the Smog Strangler. Yes, obviously, the Smog Strangler's actions were sinful and punishment-worthy, but you know which character's even worse than him? Johnny Martel, the very police lieutenant who's trying to capture him!
Where do we even begin?
For starters, we see he's in the Los Angeles Police Department, a police department I just so happen to have a grudge against. (If you worked for the LAPD in March 1968, you know what you did!)
During the interrogation scene, Martel is shown to be verbally abusive towards Kramer, trying to force a confession out of him and refusing to listen to his alibi. (Who knows what Martel would've done to Kramer had that phone call not arrived in time?)
It probably didn't even occur to him that the Smog Strangler is based in Los Angeles, and Kramer is from New York.
And even after he finally does realize his mistake via a telephone call from his superiors, Martel continues to be rude to Kramer, as he simply orders him to leave the room, not even caring enough to answer a question he had for him. (Basically, "Alright, you're innocent. Get outta here!")
And does he ever apologize to poor Kramer for the whole ordeal? No! It's like he didn't even care that he verbally abused (and potentially traumatized) an innocent civilian for a crime he didn't commit.
Also, TV Tropes tells me that at one point, Martel yelled at an officer for saying "on her person" as if it was inappropriate or something. I never saw the whole episode, so I wouldn't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if he also yelled at the witness who mistook Kramer for the strangler in the lineup (assuming a lineup scene was even in the episode; like I said, I didn't see the whole thing).
And to top it all off, he is never shown to suffer any comeuppance, by law or by nature, for his hostile demeanor, making him a Karma Houdini (unless you count being forced to release Kramer from custody &/or having the disappointment/embarrassment of his suspicions being disproven as karma).
Lt. Johnny Martel could easily be considered one of the rudest characters to ever appear in the entire show, and I'm honestly surprised he's not on any "Worst Seinfeld Characters" list I could find online, (and he doesn't have a page on the Loathsome Characters Wiki). "Seinfeld" is known for most of its characters being horrible people, and this guy is far from an exception. It's amazing how he didn't appear in the Finale, despite it taking place in the very city whose police department he works for. (Either he got fired offscreen for being too much of an a-hole, or the show's creators just forgot about him.)
Lt. Martel, I hope you know you're going to Hell when you die, and I don't say that lightly. (But, if it makes you feel any better, Kramer does eventually go to prison with his friends for a year for not helping a mugging victim.)
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(This has been a character rant by Connor Banjoper. Follow him on Fandom for more content created by him. All rights reserved.)