- "...For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."
- ―George Costanza[src]
George is Jerry's neurotic friend. He sometimes lives with his parents, Estelle and Frank Costanza, a bitter couple who are as neurotic as their son. Chances are George's personality traits of being bitter, miserly, selfish, greedy and dishonest come from his childhood background. As a teenager, he was tormented by his gym teacher, Mr. Heyman, who intentionally mispronounced George's last name as "Can't Stand Ya." George and Jerry attended public school together, setting the dynamic for their later relationship. George claims that he and Jerry met in gym class when George, climbing rope, fell on Jerry.
George has numerous psychological problems, including: sociopathy, narcissism, habitual lying, low self-esteem, sudden fits of anger, hypochondriasis, impulsive acts of ill-considered cheapness, selfishness, obsessiveness, living in fantasy. Like Kramer, he would often concoct elaborate plots to weasel out of relational, financial, or legal obligations, always with unexpected and negative consequences. George's lying, however, is often seen as a gift in the eyes of himself and his friends. It is noted in some episodes that he can even beat a lie-detector test. When Jerry tells Elaine about his plan of beating a lie detector instead of somehow avoiding it, she replies, "Who do you think you are, Costanza?"
The character of George is based partly on the alter ego of the show's co-creator, Larry David (the alter ego developed later on as the protagonist of Curb Your Enthusiasm). In the first couple of seasons, George was restrained by the standards of his later actions, but as the series went on, his schemes and personality became more outlandish. Alexander related in an interview that, early in the creation of the show, he once expressed having problems acting out a scene in the script, because he felt no one would ever behave in such a way. David replied to him that the exact situation had actually happened to him, and he had reacted in exactly the same way. Jason said that this was a breakthrough for him in portraying the character, giving him valuable insight into both Larry and George.
George is the son of Frank Costanza and Estelle Costanza. George has mentioned having a brother a few times on the show though he has never been seen or even given a name. George often grew up with his parents having screaming matches with each other, and frequently criticizing George by complaining about how he wasn't like Lloyd Braun, a neighborhood kid his parents adored. George often claims that his difficult childhood was the cause of most of his neurotic tendencies. George has mentioned growing up in Brooklyn, New York and attended public school. He attended John F. Kennedy High School on Long Island and was in the class of 1971. He met Jerry Seinfeld in gym class, and they have been best friends ever since (although he was jealous of Jerry's summer camp friend 'Fragile' Frankie Merman whom he referred to as the 'Summer Me'). He was also picked on in gym class by the gym teacher Mr. Heyman, whom George tattled on for giving him a wedgie and subsequently got Mr. Heyman fired. George and Jerry also frequently hung out at a restaurant called Mario's Pizza, where George got the high score on a Frogger game. George refers to this as the greatest accomplishment of his life. It has been mentioned that Jerry and George both attended Queens College. George's success there was somewhat debatable, as he mentions being a college graduate but his difficulty finding work and Diane DeConn, a former classmate of Jerry and George, claimed he was always goofing off and is never mentioned in the alumni magazine of the college. Jerry also told Elaine that George had gotten accepted to podiatry school, but nothing ever came of it.
In the beginning of the series, George works as a real estate broker as shown when he tries to find a new apartment for Jerry in "The Robbery". George also seemed to be a lot more fortunate in the beginning of the series, making an $8,000 profit on a stock tip in "The Stock Tip". George had difficulty handling relationships with women though: for example, he left an angry message on his girlfriend Carol's answering machine and had to swap out the tape to make sure she didn't hear it in "The Phone Message". Another example includes "The Chinese Restaurant" where George mentions having to leave in the middle of sex with his girlfriend because of flatulence. In "The Revenge", George quits his job out of frustration. He attempts to get it back, but after his boss degrades him in public he decides to "slip him a mickey" instead. George then goes through several jobs struggling to regain employment. He got a job parking cars in "The Alternate Side" but ends up causing accidents and traffic jams. He also got a job at Pendant Publishing in "The Red Dot", but gets fired for having sex with the cleaning woman on his desk. In "The Boyfriend", George dates the daughter of an unemployment officer to try and stay on assistance but loses it when the girl breaks up with him.
George actually manages to find steady work with Jerry writing a pilot for a sitcom on NBC. However, George nearly botches it twice, once in "The Pitch" for refusing to compromise on his "artistic integrity", and again when he demands more money than the initial offer of $13,000 ($6,500 each) to write the pilot in "The Wallet". He manages to get the pilot back on track in "The Watch" by agreeing to take the smaller offer of $8,000 ($4,000 each). George also begins dating the NBC executive Susan Ross. This causes problems, mainly for Susan. In "The Bubble Boy", Kramer burns down Susan's family cabin with a Cuban cigar from a box of cigars that she gave George. The subsequent burning of the cabin led to the discovery of letters revealing Susan's father had a homosexual affair in "The Cheever Letters". Their relationship finally comes to an end in "The Virgin", when George kisses her in front of her boss, causing her to get fired. They get back together in "The Pick", but Susan breaks up with him again when George picks his nose in front of her (on purpose). In "The Pilot", they manage to produce the first episode of the show Jerry, but the new executive at NBC doesn't like it and passes on the show. In "The Puffy Shirt", George finally runs out of money and is forced to move back in with his parents. He manages to get a job as a hand model, but loses it when he burns his hands on a hot iron. Frank gets George an interview to be a brassiere salesman in "The Sniffing Accountant", and though it goes well, George is fired for flirting with his future female boss. In "The Conversion", George's new girlfriend Sasha breaks up with him because he isn't Latvian Orthodox, which causes him to convert to the religion. It is in vain, however, as Sasha moves to Latvia. In "The Opposite", George begins doing the opposite of all his instincts which helps him get a beautiful girlfriend and a job as Assistant to the Traveling Secretary of the Yankees. George's new job also gives him enough money to move out of his parents’ place. In "The Doorman", George’s parents temporarily separate, causing his father Frank to move in with him. They eventually make up and move back in together.
In "The Engagement", George and Jerry begin contemplating how they have lived their lives as children rather than as men. George is inspired to ask his former girlfriend Susan to marry him. He mentioned having to beg at first, but she finally accepted. After learning Jerry reverted to his old ways, George tried to get out of it but was unable to deal with a crying Susan. So George himself cried in "The Postponement" to convince her to hold off the wedding until March. In "The Pool Guy", Elaine becomes friends with Susan which causes George to panic saying his worlds were colliding and that it would kill "independent George". In "The Rye", George and Susan's parents meet resulting in a fight causing Frank to take back the rye bread he brought to the dinner as a gift. In "The Cadillac", George begins having an affair with Marisa Tomei but she breaks up with him when discovering he is engaged. Susan was angry with George but the wedding remained on track. George frequently does things to get out of doing work, such as pretending to look annoyed to make them think he is hard at work, and leaving his car in the parking lot so they think he is the first one to arrive to work and the last one to leave in "The Caddy". In "The Bottle Deposit", George's boss Mr. Wilhelm does George's work for him accidentally while off his medication. Steinbrenner see "George's" report and has him committed to a mental hospital. George even has a compartment in his desk built where he can sleep in "The Nap". George ultimately loses his job in "The Muffin Tops" when Steinbrenner trades him for Tyler Chicken. In "The Invitations", George does everything possible to throw off the engagement such as taking up smoking and asking for a prenuptial agreement. It ultimately is called off when Susan dies from licking toxic glue from the cheap wedding invitations George picked out. In "The Foundation", Susan's parents start a charity in Susan's honor and put George on the board of trustees. In some ways this is revenge for Susan as George watches all the money Susan had that would have been his (had they been married) be given away to charitable causes. In "The Summer of George", George takes the summer off with his severance from the Yankees, but it is ultimately no good when George trips on the stairs and has to learn how to walk again. He also moves back in with his parents as a result. In "The Butter Shave", George pretends to be handicapped to get special treatment at his new job at Play Now. It is ultimately discovered in "The Voice" George isn't handicapped and he is fired, though he keeps returning anyway because of his employee contract which forces them to pay him if he shows up to work. George's father Frank starts up his own computer company in his garage that George gets a job as a salesman in "The Serenity Now". Kramer ends up smashing up the computers, causing the company to fail. In "The Junk Mail", George's parents want him out of their lives. Feeling abandoned George tries to get their attention by dating his cousin Rhisa, but this fails as George gets freaked out when Rhisa wants to have sex. In "The Slicer", George gets a job at Kruger Industrial Smoothing, a company that is so disorganized George actually has to work to pick up the slack of his boss, Mr. Kruger. George creates his own fake charity in "The Strike" called the Human Fund to swindle money from fellow employees so as to avoid buying them gifts with his own money. In "The Wizard", Susan's parents reveal they believed George intentionally caused Susan's death. In "The Finale", NBC reconsidered the pilot George and Jerry wrote back in season four and decided to pick it up as a sitcom. They were going to vacation with Kramer and Elaine in Paris before they leave for Los Angeles. Repair troubles force the plane to make an emergency stop and George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer are arrested for violating the Good Samaritan Law by not helping an overweight man who was getting carjacked. They become infamous in the news as "The New York Four", as numerous people who hated them showed up to testify against their moral character. George is sentenced to one year in prison along with Elaine, Jerry, and Kramer.
George's relationships with women were typically unsuccessful and frequently ended badly. His most disastrous relationship, an engagement to Susan Ross, is one of the few to end "well" for George; he fears marriage and Susan's unexpected death saves him from the commitment. However, even this comes back to haunt him—her wealthy parents create a foundation in her honor and endow it with the land, mansions, and money that would have been given to George and Susan upon their marriage. Despite his own flawed appearance, George periodically insists on minimum standards for the women he will date; on one occasion, he refused to accept a blind date until reassured the girl had both thick lustrous hair and skin with "a pinkish hue." On another occasion, he fell for a woman who, as he did, enjoyed pastrami, though he also once spiked an Orthodox Jewish girl's Kosher breakfast with lobster as payback for her mocking his abbreviated member (the product of recent swimming). Another time he picked up a woman and brought her to a hotel, ostensibly for kinky sex, only to be robbed (while handcuffed to the bedposts) of the eight dollars he carried in his wallet as well as his suit and coat.
Other women that George dated throughout the series:
- His two dates, Loretta (who refuses to break up) and Maura (who won't make love) in "The Strongbox", make it hard for George to break up.
- In "The Cadillac" George dates a celebrity, Marisa Tomei, in the park for a short time and got punched for revealing that he's engaged.
- In "The Cafe" George dates Monica, who gives George an IQ test. Apparently, after letting Elaine help him cheat, the result is the test being spilled in food and he is left to explain the mess on the IQ test.
- In "The Nose Job", George dates Audrey who has a big nose until he, Jerry and Elaine are shocked when Kramer suggests that she get a nose job.
- In "The Red Dot" by accident, George dates Evie, a cleaning woman who works at Pendant Publishing by sharing Hennigan's Scotch.
- In "The Conversion" George willingly converts to the Latvian Orthodox faith for his girlfriend, Sasha, after Elaine mentions that it would be romantic, only to learn that she is going to Latvia after he completes the conversion.
- In "The Boyfriend", George dates Mrs. Sokol's daughter, Carrie, in order to get the extension on his unemployment.
- In "The Good Samaritan", George sleeps with Robin (who's already married) after he says "God Bless you" to her.
- In "The Outing", George dates Allison, who's having a breakdown. He tries to show that he's gay, but he fails.
- In “The Big Salad”, he dates Julie, who takes credit for his buying Elaine a big salad. The relationship ends when Julie says, “George, all I did was hand someone a bag.”
On the ninth season DVD for the finale, it was stated that George had dated 62 girlfriends during the show's run.
Unlike Jerry, George is never specifically identified as Jewish (or any other religion), but according to some hints given in the show, it is most likely that he is Catholic. Larry David once claimed in an interview that George is half-Jewish/half-Italian, although that could merely be ethnicity. If this is the case, then the obvious conclusion to draw is that Estelle is the Jewish half of the equation; as the name "Costanza" comes from Frank, he hails from Tuscany and all references to the possible Catholicism of the Costanza family are due to aspects of Frank, not Estelle.
- In "The Fatigues", it is learned that Frank, George's father, is a member of the Knights of Columbus, an all-Catholic fraternal organization.
It is revealed Frank has relatives in Italy, and lived in Italy for part of his early childhood. Additionally, in "The Calzone", George points out that Costanza is Italian, and that he and the Paisano's clerk are like family because of that. The primary religion in Italy is Roman Catholicism.
- In "The Understudy", Jerry tells Elaine that Frank Costanza sold religious articles like statues of Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary, which are obviously symbols of the Christian faith.
- George sometimes refers to "Mother of God!" using it as an expression of being stunned (e.g. in "The Rye"), although it is probably only an expression.
- In the episode "The Strike", it is mentioned that Frank rejects all the commercial aspects of Christmas due to a violent brawl he had over a doll so he created his own holiday to avoid such issues. As this began after George was born it seems reasonable to suspect that before this time at least, he was raised Christian.
- In one episode ("The Conversion", Season 5), George goes so far as to convert his faith to Latvian Orthodox, a Christian sect, to appease the strict parents of his current girlfriend.
- In the episode "The Money", Estelle states that she "won't ride in a German car", hinting at post-Holocaust trauma, thus further suggesting the possibility of her being Jewish.
Art Vandelay: Commonly considered George's alter ego, Art Vandelay is usually an unseen character created by George to facilitate a lie.
- Vandelay was invented during "The Stake Out" when George and Jerry needed to explain why there were waiting in the lobby of Vanessa's office building. Their excuse was that they were meeting Art Vandelay, an importer/exporter. George originally thought up the name "Art Core...valay", but switched it to Vandelay at the last minute.
- During "The Boyfriend", George claims to work for Vandelay Industries, a latex manufacturer.
- Vandelay is used as the name of Elaine's nonexistent boyfriend in "The Cadillac".
- In "The Puerto Rican Day", George assumes the name Art Vandelay, so that he can use the TV in an expensive apartment that is holding an "open house".
- The characters encounter a judge named Art Vandelay on the series finale.
Other Pseudonyms: At one point ("The Maid"), George wanted to be known as "T-Bone", but his co-workers at Kruger Industrial Smoothing nicknamed him "Koko" because he flailed his arms like an ape when he demanded the nickname "T-Bone" back from a coworker. When a Jamaican woman named Koko began work there, his nickname was changed to "Gammy". George revealed that if he were to be a porn star, his name would be "Buck Naked." During a period of unemployment for George, Jerry calls George "Biff", referring to the Biff Loman character in Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. George once assumed the identity of a man named Donald O'Brien in order to take his limousine ("The Limo"), only to later discover this man was the leader of the Aryan Union and was on his way to make his first public appearance, at Madison Square Garden. In "The Wink," Kramer opened his door after George knocked on it and called him with "Mr. Weatherbee."
George Costanza moments
- Betraying his feelings of "restrained jubilation" to the doctor who gives him news; his fiancée, Susan Ross, has just died an unusual, untimely death facilitated indirectly by his actions.
- Peeking at the information on a video store's computer screen to find out who has checked out the video for Breakfast at Tiffany's, then showing up at that family's apartment and finagling his way in, so he can avoid reading the book for his book club. The effort backfires when he spills grape juice on the family's sofa and gets kicked out before he can finish watching the movie.
- Being mistaken for a Neo-Nazi leader when he takes a limousine that he believes is for four passes to a Chicago Bulls-New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden.
- Taking up smoking so that Susan would call off the wedding, but the cigarettes made him sick.
- Re-dipping a potato chip into a party platter after he has already taken a bite (double-dipping).
- Driving Yankee player Danny Tartabull all over town as he seeks retribution for road rage victimization.
- Passing an incomplete IQ test through an open window to Elaine in order to cheat on it, all with his one-time girlfriend on the other side of the door. He did this so she'd think he was smarter than he really was. Elaine ends up getting a worse score than George would have if he hadn't cheated due to distractions while at Babu's restaurant (although she later scored 151).
- Proposing an incestuous sexual relationship with his cousin to get his parents' attention, which she agreed to, and they briefly participated in.
- Wearing Kramer's father's wedding band to get women to flirt with him (the conjecture being that women were more attracted to married men). The theory worked perfectly, but all the women were offended when George flirted back.
- Telling Susan that he was meeting Elaine to discuss problems about her (made-up) boyfriend Art Vandelay when he actually was meeting Marisa Tomei. George and Elaine failed to fully develop the alibi, and Susan suspected George was having an affair with Elaine.
- Calling Marisa Tomei on the eve of Susan's funeral to arrange a date: "I got the funeral tomorrow, but...my weekend is pretty wide open." As she is uninterested, Marisa hangs up on him.
- Attempting multiple times to pass off a red-dotted cashmere sweater which he bought at a discount. Eventually, even one of Elaine's alcoholic co-workers sees the dot.
- Leaving his car parked at Yankee Stadium so that his boss George Steinbrenner would think he was there working even when he wasn't. Other escapades while at the Yankees included: turning the space underneath his desk into an area suitable for napping, pretending to be stressed in order to avoid work, and masquerading as a Communist in order to date a woman whose personal ad appeared in the Daily Worker newspaper.
- Getting ensconced or draped in velvet.
- Buying a car solely on the belief that it was once owned by Jon Voight (it was actually owned by the dentist named John Voight).
- Faking a disability so that he could get his own private bathroom at work.
- During a fire that had been started accidentally at a child's birthday party, George ran across the house, pushing and knocking everyone and everything in his path (including an elderly woman with her walker), screaming "Fire!" as he ran to the door. Then once he got out, he held the door closed, trapping the people inside. When asked by a firefighter how he could live with himself, George responded, "It's not easy."
- Trying to get money back for a book he brought into a bookstore bathroom. He was forced to pay for it, because the book was "flagged" at all the area bookstores.
- Recording an outgoing answering machine message, and singing it to the tune of the hit song "Believe it or Not" (from The Greatest American Hero). He sang:
- Believe it or not, George isn't at home
- Please leave a message at the beep.
- I must be out or I'd pick up the phone
- Where could I be?
- Believe it or not, I'm not home.
- Trying to get the Frogger game to his house from Mario's Pizzeria, which he and Jerry frequented as youngsters. The game is running on batteries, because George wants to preserve his all-time high score on the console (the high scores would be erased were the machine to lose power). Unfortunately, while George tries in vain to get the console to the other side of the street after performing a series of maneuvers resembling the game itself, a truck destroys the machine, after which Jerry remarks, "Game over."
- Engaging in a slow chase via handicap scooter when his claimed disability (used to obtain executive washroom privileges) is revealed to be a hoax.
- Wearing a tuxedo many sizes too small to the opera Pagliacci.
- Continuing to use the name Art Vandelay until the show's final episode, when a judge by that name presides over the trial of the "New York Four," in which the defendants broke the Good Samaritan Law in the fictional town of Latham, Massachusetts. Jerry and George take it as a sign that they will be acquitted, but after a swarm of previous guest characters (from Marla the Virgin to the parents of Susan Ross) testify against the four friends, Judge Vandelay sentences George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine to one year removed from society.
- Demanding that an area hospital pay for his damaged car after a man committed suicide by jumping off the hospital roof and landing on George's car.
- Trying to convert to Latvian Orthodox in order to keep a girlfriend. George tells the priest that the reason for his conversion was the nice hats worn by the clergy.
- Pretending to have poor eyesight so that he could get a certain textbook on tape, his reasoning being that whenever he reads a book he hears his own voice reading the words. When he gets the tape, he realizes the narrator sounds like him.
- Developing back problems because of his oversized wallet. The wallet finally explodes out in the street.
- Competing for an apartment with an SS Andrea Doria survivor by telling the board about his horrifying life. He loses the apartment to a boyfriend of Elaine's who bribes the building superintendent with $50.
- Working briefly as a hand model before he burned his hands on an iron.
- George tries to impress a woman by claiming to have been a Third Lieutenant in the Navy, unaware that this rank not only doesn’t exist, but if it did it would be unimpressive.
- Agreeing to play Trivial Pursuit with Donald the Bubble Boy in upstate New York. Got in a fight with Donald when George insisted the answer was "Moops" but Donald said it was "Moors" (the card was a misprint). Susan ended up deflating the Bubble Boy, and George was accused of trying to kill Donald.
- Trying to become friends with a black man to prove to his boss that he was not racist.
- Performing a series of stunts at Yankee Stadium, such as wearing Babe Ruth's jersey, streaking across the field in a body suit (he instead gained popularity with the fans as "Body Suit Man") and wrecking the team's 1996 World Series trophy with his car. He does this in an attempt to make Steinbrenner fire him so he can take a job offer from the New York Mets. In the end, George's boss (Mr. Wilhelm) comes in and claims he made George do those things. Wilhelm is thus fired instead, and he is the one hired by the Mets.
- Claiming to have won "The Contest," though in the finale, he admitted to Jerry that he cheated.
- Attending anger management sessions at the request of his friends, but the fact that the coach wanted him to hide his anger angered George too much to continue. Incited a participant at a Rage-a-holics meeting by referring to him as a pinhead.
- Asking Elaine to get him a job at Pendant Publishing. Elaine's boss, Mr. Lippman, conducted an impromptu job interview with George, asking him what authors he liked. Pressed for specifics, George mentioned he liked Art Vandelay. According to George, Vandelay was an obscure beatnik writer who wrote Venetian Blinds.
- Crashing a baby shower to confront an ex-girlfriend who threw Bosco on his red shirt during a performance.
- Mistakenly thinking that he impregnated a woman in the episode "The Fix-Up". This happened because Kramer had given him a defective condom. Referring to his sperm, George yells, "My boys can swim!" It later turns out that the woman was not pregnant. In an uncharacteristic twist, George was more concerned with the woman's needs and offered to support her no matter what.
- Pitching some new ideas for two other NBC shows while backstage at The Tonight Show. First, George pitches his idea for "the perfect episode of L.A. Law" to Corbin Bernsen, then makes a suggestion to George Wendt that the setting of Cheers be changed because it's "enough with the bar already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on the talk show, much to George's dismay.
- Purchasing a Twix bar from the candy machine from a car dealership, only to see the candy get stuck, then losing it to a mechanic who buys another Twix, getting two packages. George then heads to the complaint department demanding an apology, a refund, and for "that man to be fired."
- Being the subject of mockery after a televised tennis tournament showed a shot of him sloppily eating a sundae.
- In an early episode titled "The Suicide," George is talking with a psychic and mentions that he has a brother. Later episodes repeatedly portray George as an only child.
- Peeing in the men's shower at the gym because he "couldn't hold it in" (much to the disgust of his peers).
- Having sex with a woman in his parents' bed while they were on vacation. He accidentally leaves the condom wrapper in the bed and his parents find out.
- Telling beautiful women that a picture of Jerry's ex-girlfriend is Susan, his dead fiancée, in order to hang out with them at a secret club. After accidentally singeing the picture with his blow-dryer, George clips a picture from a magazine and uses that as his Susan photo, until he makes the claim to the model pictured.
- Asking one of his girlfriend's relatives for a death certificate at a funeral so that he can get a "bereavement discount" on an airplane ticket.
- Pulling food out of the trash and eating it just as someone walks in the kitchen door catching him. In the same episode, spilling coffee on a man's windshield and being forced to clean it up with paper from the ground. While he does this, he still holds the empty cup, making it look like he is a poor man who is working on the street to get tips.
- Being caught masturbating on his parents' couch by his mother.
- Pretending to be a tough guy to impress a girl in "The Little Kicks". ("I'm a bad man!")
- Eating a pastrami sandwich while having sex.
- Pulling Kramer's golf ball from the blow hole of a whale just as he was pretending to be a marine biologist.
- Claiming to have right-of-way deals with pigeons and squirrels.
- Having Elaine throw his toupee out the window of Jerry's apartment.
Jobs held by George Costanza
The dates of each job indicate the air date of the episodes in which George worked those particular jobs.
- Dairy Queen employee for one summer, from which he was fired for putting his feet in the soft serve (dates unknown; mentioned May 1, 1997)
- Waiter for children at a fat camp (dates unknown; mentioned June 26, 1991)
- Real estate agent (at least July 5, 1989 to April 18, 1991)
- Parking cars (December 4, 1991)
- Reader at Pendant Publishing (December 11, 1991)
- Writer for a sitcom pilot called Jerry for NBC (September 16, 1992 to May 20, 1993)
- Hand model (September 23, 1993)
- Sales rep at a rest stop supplies company with the Penske file (November 11, 1993)
- Assistant to the Traveling Secretary for the New York Yankees under owner George Steinbrenner (May 19, 1994 to at least May 8, 1997)
- Play Now, a playground equipment company (September 25, 1997 to October 2, 1997)
- Computer salesman for for his father's computer selling scheme, "Costanza and Son" (October 9, 1997)
- Kruger Industrial Smoothing (November 13, 1997 to at least April 30, 1998)
Jobs George Costanza falsely claimed to hold
- Marine biologist
- Architect, as "Art Vandelay"
- Importer/exporter, as "Art Corvelay"
- Playwright, author of La Cocina
- Latex Salesman, working for "Vandelay Industries"