Hennigan's: No-smell, no-tell, scotch!

Scotch is a fictional whiskey used as a plot point in “The Red Dot”. (Season 3, Ep.12) To Jerry and Kramer, Hennigan's has the advantage, unlike other brands of Scotch, of not leaving the imbiber smelling of alcohol.

In dialog

(At Jerry’s apartment)

Jerry: “I got a bottle of Scotch my uncle gave me, Hennigan’s. It’s been there two years. I’ve been using it as a paint thinner.”

Kramer: “That is damn good Scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff.”

Kramer: “Boy, that Hennigan goes down smooth, and afterwards, you don’t even smell.”

Kramer: “That’s right, folks. I just had three shots of Hennigan’s, and I don’t smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That’s Hennigan’s, the no-smell, no-tell Scotch.”

“Say you got a big job interview and you’re a little nervous. Well, throw back a couple of shots of Hennigan’s, and you’ll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it’s odorless, why, it’ll be our little secret.” (singing) “H, E, double-N, I...”

Jerry: “Kramer, Kramer, yeah, that’ll do.”

(Later at the Diner)

Jerry: “You had sex with the cleaning woman on your desk? Who are you? How did you do that?”

George: “Hennigan’s.”

Jerry: “Hennigan’s?”

George: “I was sitting there in the office, and the cleaning woman comes in. I’ve always been attracted to cleaning women. Cleaning women, chambermaids...”

Jerry: “Yeah, chambermaids, I’m attracted to them too.”

George: “Why is that?”

Jerry: “It’s a woman in your room. So go ahead.”

George: “So, she starts vacuuming, back and forth, back and forth, her hips swiveling, her breasts...”

Jerry: “Convulsing?”

George: “Convulsing?”

Jerry: “I don’t know. I’m trying to help you.”

George: “So then I asked her if she wanted a drink.”

Jerry: “You don’t drink.”

George: “I know, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.”

Jerry: “So you started drinking.”

George: “So we started drinking, and I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next thing I knew, she was mopping the floor with me.”

Jerry: “And how was it?”

George: “The sex was okay, but I threw up from the Hennigan’s.”

Jerry: “Good thing the cleaning lady was there.”


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