|"The Andrea Doria"|
|Air Date||December 19, 1996|
|← The Abstinence · The Little Jerry →|
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an SS Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor (they botched his vasectomy and he's now more potent than ever). Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii, the most sought-after route for all postmen.
Kramer finds a dog with a cold, named Smuckers, and he takes him to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker-upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. As Elaine breaks up with her blind date, he calls her "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication.
He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine (when a cab driver and a passer-by remark on it) and she decides to meet again with her blind date to show him she doesn't care about his comment... or jam "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. Newman does not get the transfer to Hawaii, as the post office finds out that Newman wasn't delivering the mail himself, because too many people got their mail. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise, after the man says that she has a bump on her nose. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment, but the guy Elaine stabs does. He gets it, not because he was stabbed, but because he bribed the building's super. When George confronts him over this, the blind date calls him "Chinless," and the episode ends with George rubbing his chin and looking perturbed.
Notes About Nothing
- The episode makes references to episodes "The Subway" ("I was handcuffed to the bed, in my underwear"), "The Limo" ("She was attractive, she was, also, in fact, a Nazi"), "The Hamptons" (The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage"), "The Rye" ("Her parents were looking at me. So there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole"), and "The Invitations" (Oh, also.. my fiancé died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out.) when George is talking to the association about his life story.
- During the episode, Jerry says, "In my home. My home, Elaine! Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys." This draws a reference to dialogue from The Godfather Part II; Michael: "In my home! In my bedroom, where my wife sleeps! Where my children come and play with their toys."
- Kramer's coughing message to the police is a parody of Lassie's saving the day by warning of danger or trouble.
- The title of the episode is a reference to the sinking of the SS Andrea Doria. One of the prospective tenants is apparently a survivor of the tragedy.
Kramer (relating the story of the Andrea Doria to George): Fifty-one people died.
George: Fifty-one people? That's it? I thought it was like a thousand.
Kramer: There were 1,660 survivors.
George: That's no tragedy. How many people you lose on a normal cruise, 30, 40?