“The Cigar Store Indian” is the tenth episode of the fifth season of Seinfeld. It was written by Max Pross & Tom Gammill; it was directed by Tom Cherones.


While Jerry helps George with a coffee table stain, Elaine must take the subway home; she takes Frank Costanza's TV Guide as reading material. George meets a woman at a furniture refinishing store and takes her to his parents' home, pretending that it is his. Jerry is interested in a Native American woman named Winona (Kimberly Norris-Guerrero), but she is offended when Jerry, unaware of her ethnicity, presents Elaine with a cigar store Indian as a peace offering. Jerry further offends her by using inappropriate language which could pass for racial epithets in a note and rocking it back and forth, mimicking Native American chants in front of her. Jerry tries to make amends with Winona by going out on a date with her where he also obtains her copy of the TV Guide with Al Roker on the cover to give to Frank.

Jerry offers to take her out for supper and she gives him a second chance, but she is offended by Jerry's behavior when he asks a postal worker whether there are any Chinese restaurants nearby, as the postman turns out to be of Asian descent and concludes that Jerry asked him the question because of his ethnicity rather than his profession. She becomes even more infuriated with Jerry after Kramer, in a taxi with the cigar store Indian, yells at Jerry by mimicking Native American sounds. Elaine and Kramer are on the subway when Kramer stops to get a gyro, but when his arm gets stuck in the door, a patron steals it. While on the subway, Elaine forgets the TV Guide and it is obtained by a creepy patron (Sam Lloyd) who cuts it up to make a flower bouquet for her. George, having had sex with his furniture store quarry, leaves a condom wrapper in his parents' bed; his parents discover not only the wrapper but also the absence of Frank's TV Guide (he is a collector) and punish him by grounding him.

Jerry tries again to make amends with Winona by going on another date, but tries avoiding words like reservation and scalper, which later backfires on him when she asks for the TV Guide and they get into an argument after she accuses Jerry of trying to refer to her as an Indian giver. Elaine shows up at the Costanzas' house with Winona's copy of the TV Guide much to her surprise, she sees the creepy guy at the house (he obtained the Costanzas' address by reading the postal address). Elaine gives Frank the copy of the TV Guide, only to find the cover was ruined by the tzatziki sauce from the gyros she was eating which dripped onto it. When Frank yells at Elaine about taking the TV Guide, the creepy guy comes to her defense and inadvertently knocks the refinished coffee table over. While trying to sell the cigar store Indian to a dealer of another cigar shop, Kramer meets Elaine's boss, who offers to buy the cigar store Indian for $500. Kramer then helps Elaine's boss carry the Indian to his office, where Kramer then pitches his idea for a coffee table book about coffee tables, much to Elaine's dismay. Estelle takes the coffee table to the same furniture store George took it into, where she runs into the same woman George had sex with and reveals the truth about George. Elaine and Jerry are on the subway going to Queens to give Frank the same TV Guide (which they had to order) when Jerry runs to get a gyro during a brief stop, he attempts to get back on the subway in time, but gets his arm stuck in the door and has his gyro taken by none other than Al Roker himself.

Season Five Episodes
The Mango | The Puffy Shirt | The Glasses | The Sniffing Accountant | The Bris | The Lip Reader | The Non-Fat Yogurt | The Barber | The Masseuse | The Cigar Store Indian | The Conversion | The Stall | The Dinner Party | The Marine Biologist | The Pie | The Stand In | The Wife | The Raincoats, Part 1 | The Raincoats, Part 2 | The Fire | The Hamptons | The Opposite