|Air Date||January 30th, 1997|
|Writer(s)|| Gregg Kavet|
|← The Money · The Van Buren Boys →|
George Costanza used “Jerk Store” as a part of a comeback to one of his co-workers at the New York Yankees named Reilly. When George was stuffing himself with shrimp at a meeting, Reilly remarked, "Hey, George, the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp." Slow-witted George could not think of a comeback until later, while driving to the tennis club to meet Jerry. His comeback was: "Oh, yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you."
Jerry, Elaine and Kramer did not think 'jerk store' was a good comeback mainly because "there are no jerk stores." Elaine suggests, "Your cranium called. It's got some space to rent." Jerry suggests, "The zoo called. You're due back by six." Kramer finally thinks George should just tell Reilly that he slept with his wife.
After discovering that Reilly was let go from the Yankees and now works for Firestone, George flies to Akron, Ohio just to try the jerkstore line. When he says it, however, Reilly responds, "What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller." George, unprepared for this, ends up using Kramer's line. He's then told that Reilly's wife is in a coma.
During the credits, George thinks up a new line: "Oh, yeah? Well, the life support machine called!" This is while he is driving back home after arriving in New York from Ohio. Promptly, he makes a U-turn and heads back towards the airport, yelling out, "You're beat, Reilly! You just screwed yourself!"
Jerry meets George at a private tennis club to play tennis. He goes to the pro shop where he is pressured into buying a brand new racquet by the worker there — an Eastern European man named Milos. Later, while playing at a different club with Elaine, Jerry discovers that Milos is a horrible tennis player. In Jerry's eyes, this undermines Milos' credibility as a salesman.
When Jerry confronts Milos at the pro shop, he offers to do anything in exchange for Jerry not revealing his secret. Jerry implies that if Milos sets him up with an attractive woman that they see in the shop, he will be silent. Later Jerry runs into the woman, who is named Patty, waiting for him outside his apartment. She initially comes on strong, but backs out and reveals that she is Milos' wife. The incident makes her lose respect for Milos.
In a new deal, Milos wants Jerry to let him win in a game of tennis to regain Patty's respect. During, the game, Milos becomes boastful and gloating. Jerry begins to play harder and triggers a sequence of events that results in Kramer in the hospital (see below).
Elaine runs into Kramer at Champagne Video, while browsing the staff picks. Elaine is a fan of Vincent's picks, with whom she has the same taste in movies. (Kramer characterizes Vincent as an arthouse goon). Later, while watching Vincent's latest pick, he calls her on the telephone. Elaine becomes romantically interested in him, but is unable to meet him in person.
On a subsequent visit to the video store, Kramer convinces Elaine to forego Vincent's pick in favor of Weekend at Bernie's II. Vincent feels betrayed by this and terminates their relationship. He sends her the play button from his VCR, and stops making picks.
After Elaine rents Vincent's pick that she spurned in favor of Weekend at Bernie's II, Vincent agrees to meet her at his apartment if she brings some things from the store. The stuff he wants includes vodka, cigarettes and fireworks. When she is at his apartment, he refuses to open the door all the way so Elaine can see him. A woman walks up who turns out to be Vincent's mom. She says that Vincent is 15 years old. Elaine takes the vodka from the bag and walks off.
While at the video store, Kramer rents The Other Side of Darkness, a (fictional) straight-to-video movie that deals with a woman in a coma. Frightened by the movie, he has a living will drawn up. At first he considers making Jerry his executor, but decides that he is too sentimental after Jerry refuses to throw away his old tennis racquet. He decides Elaine should be his executrix instead and they meet with a lawyer named Shellbach (played by Ben Stein).
After Kramer finishes watching the movie (when the woman miracurously comes out of the coma), he decides he needs to get his living will annulled. However, he misses his appointment with Shellbach because he drives so slow in fear of getting in an accident. He learns that he can catch up with Shellbach at the tennis club. When he catches up with him, a sequence of events caused by Jerry and Milos' tennis game causes a ball machine to fire at Kramer at top speed. Kramer collapses and ends up in the hospital. When Elaine visits him, looking for an outlet for her VCR, she unplugs a large plug that is implied to be Kramer's life support. He sits up in pain. This is the last time he is seen in this episode.
|Season Eight Episodes|
|The Foundation | The Soul Mate | The Bizarro Jerry | The Little Kicks | The Package | The Fatigues | The Checks | The Chicken Roaster | The Abstinence | The Andrea Doria | The Little Jerry | The Money | The Comeback | The Van Buren Boys | The Susie | The Pothole | The English Patient | The Nap | The Yada Yada | The Millennium | The Muffin Tops | The Summer of George|