After watching a science-fiction B movie, Jerry goes to bed, but wakes up in the middle of the night laughing and writing down a joke for his stand-up comedy act. The following day he is unable to read what he wrote down. When he is having lunch with George and Elaine, George thinks he is having a heart attack and is transported to a hospital. Once he's there it is discovered that he actually needs a tonsillectomy. While in the hospital Elaine flirts with George's doctor, and the two set up a date for later. Kramer recommends a holistic healer as a better and less expensive alternative. Jerry warns George that the healer Kramer is recommending had spent time in prison, but because of the large difference in price, George decides to take Kramer's advice.
Elaine goes on a date with the doctor, but does not enjoy herself, as he seems to have a strange fascination with the tongue, holding Elaine's tongue while going into great detail about the anatomy of the tongue. George, Kramer and Jerry, who is only there for comic material, meet Tor Eckman, the holistic healer. Eckman performs a number of unorthodox methods to determine George's real ailment, which he concludes has nothing to do with his tonsils, but with his "imbalance with nature". He then concocts a tea containing "cramp bark," "cleavers," and "couch grass" that would remove his ailment, also prescribing that George is to stop using hot water entirely. Upon drinking the tea, George turns purple and has to be transported to the hospital again. On their way, the EMT and the driver get into an altercation over a missing Chuckle. After returning from the fight, the ambulance driver becomes distracted again and crashes the vehicle. George and Jerry suffer injuries which require them to wear neck braces. George indicates that he had the tonsillectomy, and Elaine is in the hospital only briefly to give George some ice cream, as she does not want to run in to "Dr. Tongue". The hospital television shows the science fiction movie again, and Jerry remembers that what he wrote down was a line from the movie, but as he realizes this, he notes "that's not funny."
Jerry: It's routine surgery.
Kramer: Oh, yeah? My friend, Bob Sacamano, he came in here for a hernia operation! Oh, yeah, routine surgery, now he's sitting around in a chair by a window going, "My name is Bob!" George, whatever you do, don't let 'em cut you! Don't let 'em cut you!
George: Well, what should I do, Kramer?
Jerry: Well, for one thing, don't listen to him.
Elaine: What do you got, a cucumber?
George: Yeah. So what?
Elaine: You're bringing in an outside cucumber?
George: They refuse to put cucumber in the salad. I need cucumber.
Notes About Nothing
- Jerry offers to get George a Superman comic to read while he's in the hospital believing he's had a heart attack.
- This episode contains the first reference to Kramer's never-seen friend Bob Sacamano.
- Jerry mentions George watched a special on heart attacks broadcasted on PBS.
- The Nurse says, "Salami, Salami, Baloney," a reference to a line in a banned Popeye cartoon (Pop-Pie A La Mode, 1945).
- While Elaine and the doctor are flirting in the hospital, Jerry quips "Well it's like the Capulets and the Montagues!", a reference to the William Shakespeare tragedy Romeo and Juliet.
- Jerry posits that couch grass and cramp bark are what killed Curly (of the Three Stooges.) Curly actually died due to several strokes and deteriorating health.
- Larry David, series co-creator as the uncredited B-movie actor screaming "Flaming globes of Sigmund"
- Stephen Tobolowsky as 'Tor Eckman', holistic healer
- John Posey as 'Dr. Fein', George's Doctor & Elaine's Love Interest
|Season Two Episodes|
|The Ex-Girlfriend | The Pony Remark | The Jacket | The Phone Message | The Apartment | The Statue | The Revenge | The Heart Attack | The Deal | The Baby Shower | The Chinese Restaurant | The Busboy|