“The Library” is the fifth episode of Season Three, and the 22nd overall. It originally aired October 16, 1991. It was written by Larry Charles and directed by Joshua White.


Jerry finds out that he has an overdue library book, Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer, from 1971, when he was in high school. He goes to the library with Kramer and George to sort the issue out, only to find out that the library book case has been passed on to the library investigations officer, Lt. Bookman. Jerry distinctly remembers reading the book with his high school girlfriend, Sherry Becker, and remembers an orange dress she was wearing on that day. He decides he will find her to get to the bottom of the situation. Meanwhile, George is bothered by the fact that the homeless man he sees outside of the library looks exactly like his antagonistic high school gym teacher, Mr. Heyman. Meanwhile, Kramer is flirting with the librarian, Marion.

Meanwhile, Elaine's lunch order is not taken one day at work, which leads her to believe Mr. Lippman is going to fire her. She begins asking the receptionist questions to see if anyone is thinking of firing her, or if anyone knows what will happen to her.

George tells Elaine how Mr. Heyman was fired. Apparently Mr. Heyman tortured him all through high school, specifically, he gave him a wedgie, and finally when George complained, he was fired. George feels guilty that he is now homeless.

Lt. Bookman arrives at Jerry's apartment to investigate the missing book. Marion is actually at Kramer's apartment and worries that Bookman will see her there and fire her because she is not at the library.

Jerry looks up Sherry Becker, only to find that she is not as attractive as she was in high school, and has a very different memory of the day they read Tropic of Cancer, specifically that they didn't actually read that book - they read Tropic of Capricorn. This is when Jerry realizes that was the day he lent the real Tropic of Cancer to George, on the day that Mr. Heyman gave him a wedgie which resulted in his getting fired.

Bookman catches Marion and Kramer together in the library after hours. Kramer is crying over Marion's touching poetry, so Elaine decides she will steal some of the poetry to show to Mr. Lippman, in hopes that this discovery will prevent her from getting fired. Unfortunately, Mr. Lippman was not receptive to this idea either.

Meanwhile, George confronts the homeless man, who is definitely Mr. Heyman, about the wedgie incident. George is given yet another wedgie - an atomic wedgie at that - by the homeless Mr. Heyman. The episode ends with an old, torn-up copy of Tropic of Cancer sitting by Mr. Heyman on the street.

Notes about Nothing

  • Mr. Lippman is played by Harris Shore in this episode. In all subsequent appearances, Lippman is portrayed by Richard Fancy.
  • The green Klein mountain bike replaces Jerry's bookshelf in this episode.


"I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella."- Bookman

Season Three Episodes
The Note | The Truth | The Pen | The Dog | The Library | The Parking Garage | The Cafe | The Tape | The Nose Job | The Stranded | The Alternate Side | The Red Dot | The Subway | The Pez Dispenser | The Suicide | The Fix-Up | The Boyfriend, Part 1 | The Boyfriend, Part 2 | The Limo | The Good Samaritan | The Letter | The Parking Space | The Keys
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