“The Nose Job” is the ninth episode of Season Three of Seinfeld and the twenty-sixth episode overall. It aired on November 20, 1991. It was written by Peter Mehlman and directed by Tom Cherones.


George dates a woman named Audrey, who is very attractive except for a huge nose. She talks to the crew about how insecure she feels in New York with so many beautiful women. Kramer attempts to "reassure" her by telling her she is beautiful, but all she needs is a nose job. Meanwhile, Jerry dates a beautiful model named Isabel who has great sex with him, but to whom he is bored talking. Jerry refers to the situation as a chess game between his brain and his penis.

George eventually convinces Audrey to get the nose job, but the nose job is botched, leaving Audrey temporarily disfigured. George is unable to even look at her due to her disfigurement, so the two break up. Later, Audrey gets her nose fixed, and is a real beauty. Kramer starts dating her, however, much to George's chagrin.

Notes About Nothing

  • The first episode where Kramer uses the alias Dr. Von Nostrand. The alter-ego also appears in "The Package" (season 8) and "The Slicer" (season 9).
  • Jerry's line "My nose my nose, my kingdom for a nose" is a play on the famous quote "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse" from Shakespeare's play Richard III. The joke is on George for giving up his relationship with Audrey all over her large nose and failed nose job (which is later corrected by Kramer's doctor).
  • George states in this episode that he is from Long island; however, in later episodes he is said to have grown up in his parents' home in Queens. 


  • "You're as pretty as any of them. Just need a nose job." -Kramer
Season Three Episodes
The Note | The Truth | The Pen | The Dog | The Library | The Parking Garage | The Cafe | The Tape | The Nose Job | The Stranded | The Alternate Side | The Red Dot | The Subway | The Pez Dispenser | The Suicide | The Fix-Up | The Boyfriend, Part 1 | The Boyfriend, Part 2 | The Limo | The Good Samaritan | The Letter | The Parking Space | The Keys