“The Note” was the eighteenth episode of Seinfeld, and the Season Three premiere. Written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and directed by Tom Cherones, it aired on September 18, 1991.


Jerry, Elaine, and George obtain notes from Jerry's dentist, Roy, for free therapy massages. Julianna, the therapist, believes that Jerry is insane when he jokingly remarks about a kidnapped boy. George, on the other hand, begins to doubt his sexual orientation when he found that his penis "moved" when his masseur, Raymond, massaged him. This is seen when he states an opinion about Evander Holyfield at Roy's urging; he says that he doesn't "like" him despite being a good fighter and nice overall.

Roy gets sued for insurance fraud for giving out fake notes, because Elaine had gotten a note for herself from her gynecologist while Jerry had gotten her another one from Roy. Jerry and George go to apologize to Roy, who says that it is fine, as long as Jerry's masseuse corroborates their story. Jerry pays Julianna another visit, but she won't see him. Jerry does eventually see her at the office however, and she has her son Billy with her. She has Billy run away and threatens to call the cops, refusing to speak with Jerry.

Kramer claims he saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts; however, the rest of the four understandably disbelieve him. He insists that Joe is very focused on his eating; he failed at catching Joe's intention by banging and yelping.

The end shows the gang at Monk's while watching Joe DiMaggio dunking donuts. While George refers to him as handsome, much to the surprise of Jerry and Elaine, Kramer attempts to break DiMaggio's concentration by again causing a noisy commotion.

Notes About Nothing

  • This episode was the only one besides the pilot in which the theme song was of a different version. Jerry Seinfeld wanted composer Jonathan Wolff to add a little sparkle to the music. That sparkle came in the form of female vocalists harmonizing over the music. Two other episodes were originally to have this same theme; however, NBC and Castle Rock Entertainment were not informed of the change. As such, they were surprised and unimpressed with what they heard. Those other two episodes were fixed as a result.
  • This episode was the first with the new Seinfeld logo.
  • The dentist, Roy, was originally named Lloyd. However, the gentleman who portrayed Roy was credited as Lloyd due to someone forgetting to change “Lloyd” to “Roy” in the end credits.
  • Jerry's therapist's son was portrayed by his real-life nephew.
  • The episode ends with the song "Joltin' Joe DiMaggio," a 1941 song by Alan Courtney and Ben Homer, performed by the Les Brown Orchestra.
Season Three Episodes
The Note | The Truth | The Pen | The Dog | The Library | The Parking Garage | The Cafe | The Tape | The Nose Job | The Stranded | The Alternate Side | The Red Dot | The Subway | The Pez Dispenser | The Suicide | The Fix-Up | The Boyfriend, Part 1 | The Boyfriend, Part 2 | The Limo | The Good Samaritan | The Letter | The Parking Space | The Keys