• "If I wind up sitting next to Uncle Leo I am leaving. He's always grabbing my arm when he talks to me. I guess it's 'cause so many people have left in the middle of his conversations." - Jerry
  • "Yeah I can't eat dessert either. The sugar makes my feet swell up and I can't dance." - Jerry
  • "What about Ponies huh? What kind of abnormal animal is that?" - Elaine
  • "I hate anyone who ever had a pony growing up!" - Jerry
  • "I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony! Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense! Am I wrong?" - Jerry
  • "Hey I agree with him [Jerry]. Nobody likes a kid with a pony." - Morty Seinfeld
  • "You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstance in which I will ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur." - George
  • "[Funerals] always make me take stock of my life. How I've pretty much wasted all of it, and how I plan to continue wasting it." - George
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