The Scofflaw

The Scofflaw
Season	6
Episode	99
Air Date	January 26, 1995
Writer(s)	Peter Mehlman
Director	Andy Ackerman
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"The Scofflaw" is the 13th episode of the sixth season of NBC sitcom Seinfeld, and the 99th episode overall. It aired on January 26, 1995. It was written by Peter Mehlman and was directed by Andy Ackerman.

Plot

George walks down the street and meets an old friend, Gary Fogel (Jon Lovitz), who apparently spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy. Kramer calls a litterbug who threw garbage out of his car a "pig," but happens to do so right behind a cop. Believing that Kramer called him a pig, the cop turns and confronts Kramer and so allows the driver he was about to ticket to flee.

George wants to talk privately with Jerry. Jerry tells George he knew about Gary's cancer but swore not to tell because George cannot keep secrets; George has no "Poker face." Elaine had a bad break up with writer Jake Jarmel. Kramer has seen him on TV and wants a pair of unique eyeglasses just like his.

Later, Kramer talks with the police officer and explains the misunderstanding. The cop says that he has spent years tracking a scofflaw who has racked up more parking tickets than anybody else in the city. The cop, who has an eye patch, considers the scofflaw his "white whale." Kramer responds by telling him he wants to get an eye patch like his. Gary discusses with George about not telling him about his illness. To smooth things over, Gary offers George a parking spot and then tells him another secret: he really never had cancer.

Jake Jarmel refused to tell Kramer about his glasses; he wants his to be unique. However, Kramer made a mistake: he said, "Elaine says hi," which Elaine thinks takes down her advantage in the "post-break-up relationship."

George arrives at Jerry's Place and is immediately confronted about his "poker face." George doesn't resist and tells the truth about Gary to Jerry. Jerry is upset because he bought Gary a costly gift certificate for baldness treatment because of the chemotherapy. Now Jerry must pretend he doesn't know so George can get his coveted parking spot.

When Jerry meets Gary at Monk's Cafe, Gary has gotten a toupee. He is so confident that he goes to talk to a quiet, beautiful woman who sits in a corner booth reading. Kramer arrives wearing an eyepatch ("I wanna be a pirate."), but has problems seeing.

George is driving John Voight's car ("The Mom and Pop Store") with Debbie, a mutual friend of his and Gary's. Debbie fell in love with Gary because of his supposed battle against cancer. Elaine plots revenge on her ex-boyfriend by buying an identical pair of glasses from a man walking down the street who says he bought them in Malaysia. George crashes his car while trying to avoid hitting the man who sold his glasses to Elaine who blindly walked across the street. The police officer is distracted by the accident and loses his white whale once again, and Kramer witnesses that Newman is in fact the infamous scofflaw.

Elaine taunts Jake Jarmel with the glasses at a book signing. Kramer tries to convince Newman to turn himself in to the police and stop the life of a fugitive. Jerry and George discuss the toupee. After turning himself in, a traffic court judge rules that Newman's car must be kept in a garage, at his own expense, until his numerous parking tickets are paid off in full.

Elaine meets up with her previous employer, Mr. Lippman, at the coffee shop. He asks what she's been up to, to which she replies "buying socks" ("The Chaperone"). Lippman tells Elaine that he will be able to re-hire her if the Jake Jarmel book sells as well as expected. Lippman takes an interest in her new glasses, and she gives them to him, having already had her revenge on Jake.

Accompanied by Jerry, George goes to try some toupees. Gary arrives, needing a readjustment to his "rug." Gary says he can't give the parking spot to George because some judge needs it for a scofflaw's car (Newman). George then gives Jerry the okay to stop pretending and he confronts Gary, ripping the toupee off his head angrily.

George, wearing a toupee, arrives extremely confident to Monk's and gets the attention of a beautiful woman. At a book presentation, Jake confronts Mr. Lippman because of the glasses he got from Elaine. It turns into an altercation which ruins the event. Elaine laments the loss of the job offer.