• "Low flow [shower heads]? I don't like the sound of that." - Kramer, Morty Seinfeld
  • "C'mon Uncle Leo I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin, you're in the prime of your life here you should be swinging. If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character "It's been real," move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign - open for business." - Jerry
  • "I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You tested positive for opium...White lotus, Yam-yam, Shanghai Sally." - J Peterman
  • "If I don't have a good shower I am not myself, I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer." - Kramer
  • "Jerry's got nothing, Newman's got nothing. You're the only one I know who's got the good stuff and I need it bad baby, cause I feel like I got bugs crawling up my skin!" - Kramer
  • "Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price, your soul. Oh and by the way you have til' to clear out your desk. You're fired." - J Peterman
  • "[On the phone] Hey, listen to this. Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of the bit I did. She thought it was funny, so he accused her of being an anti-Semite. They had a huge fight and now he's moving back into his apartment. You know what this means? My parents are gonna go back to Florida! [pause] What? What number is this? Oh, I'm terribly sorry." - Jerry
  • "What? You're moving to Florida? That's wonderful, I'm so happy! [realizes what he's said] For you! I'm so happy for you!" - George
  • "[Calls Jerry's parents] This is Frank Costanza. You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. [starts and continues to raise the volume and intensity of his speech] We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!" - Frank Costanza
  • "Hey I'm sorry, you had your buffer zone for many years. It's my turn to live, baby!" - George
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